The Eight Princesses

Once upon a time, there lived a great king who had eight beautiful daughters. The first born was able to turn cow dung into 24K gold. The second could change Nokia 3310 phones into iPhones. The third could produce sexy underwear out of rugs from unwanted dresses. The fourth laid chicken eggs. The fifth could read her own mind. The sixth could read other's mind, but not her own. The seventh could recite the value of pi, up to 43,502,388 decimal places. The youngest, however, owned all the abilities of her seven sisters. She was also the most beautiful among all her sisters.

Therefore, the king loved his youngest daughter the most.

The family was rich and lacking in nothing, because whenever they needed resources, they would use their abilities to feed themselves.

They owned a huge herd of cows, which were all very well fed. Their dung were collected each day, and sent to the first princess to be transformed into gold. They also had a warehouse full of unwanted Nokia 3310 phones, which the second daughter would diligently turn all of them into iPhones. Many old dresses were also collected, and a pile of sexy lingerie would magically appear every morning, in place of the old dresses. A room full of bedding was also prepared for the fifth daughter to lay her eggs. The fifth daughter could read her own mind so well that she never talked much to anyone else, so nobody really bothered about her. Because the sixth princess could read the minds of others, thus revealing all their secrets, she was locked away in the dungeon. It didn't help that she couldn't very well read her own mind, much to the annoyance of others. The seventh would stand in the streets, reciting over and over again the value of pi, for anyone who bothered to listen. 

The youngest daughter, however, was loved so much by her father that she was made supervisor over all her sisters. 

In due time, the king's wealth aroused the jealousy of many all around the world.

Apple company was also very pissed that the king kept selling iPhones at a very low price. 

So, the people of the world teamed up with Apple to attack the king and his family.

They killed all the cows in the world. Next, they destroyed all Nokia 3310 phones. Then, they destroyed all fabric so that the third princess could not produce anymore sexy lingerie. They also killed all the cocks so that the fourth princess was not able to have sex with them, thus she was unable to lay eggs. Since the fifth was of no threat to the people, she was numerously raped, because she was beautiful. The sixth was remained in the dungeon. The seventh princess was placed in a science exhibition, where she recited the pi for the rest of her life. They killed the youngest daughter, and made the king their slave.

Henceforth, nobody in the world ate beef, and everyone was clothed in paper. Slowly, all the chickens in the world died and everyone forgot how chickens tasted like. 

Of course, it would be much easier if the people actually killed the eight princesses off together with their father, but that idea just didn't cross their mind.

Such was the folly of the people of the world.

Since everyone in the world was wearing outfits made out of paper, trees began to diminish rapidly. Soon, wearing clothes became a crime and anyone caught covering their body with material of any sort was put to death.

Raping cases became more rampant, as it was generally easier to rape naked people.

Rape was soon deemed legal.

Before long, over 60% of the world's population was infected with HIV or AIDS.

And the people of the world lived happily ever after.

The end.